"A Homeless Heart"

 “Home is where the heart is” goes the saying.  What do you think of when you think ‘home’?  It’s family, right?  What else.

Today, several small circumstances collectively pointed me directly to my heart and to the conclusion that family is like a home for the heart. If you don’t have  a family (one that feels like family) your heart can feel homeless at times. 

​I know this because that is exactly how I felt as I considered this.

When we move away from our birth or first family, whether across the country or across the ocean, the feeling is the same.  It is in seeing others gather in celebration that we notice just how big the hole is, you know the one I mean. 

Mine was made when I left a piece of my heart with my birth family; it has not yet been filled.   We may have joined new families, but if we don’t feel like we belong, whatever the reasons, we feel sad, alone, unclaimed.

I thought a lot about this and my feelings, my circumstances, and the reasons.  I even pointed my finger a time or two (okay, maybe a 100 times), though privately in my head; but then I realized that sometimes in life it’s not the people or the circumstances that are most important. 

What’s really important are the lessons, either new ones learned or old ones unlearned.  That’s what truly matters.  The people and circumstances may only be here to provide the opportunities we need to encounter the lessons – learning, cradled in free will, is optional.

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To fully experience life and its lessons is to live the full gamut of life.  It’s like playing all the keys on the piano, not just one or two.  Some can only play a few notes, maybe even just one, and all they can do in a lifetime is to learn to not lean on it quite so hard. 

​But we must not judge as we don’t know why that is.  Maybe it’s that soul’s journey to assist in the journey of another.  Perhaps it’s to guide that homeless heart back where it belongs…
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​Some of us are those souls who experience the full range of life’s notes as deeply as they come.  There are times I feel great compassion for those who can’t love me.  But there are also times when I feel angry that they don’t, so l lean hard on that note only to find the key of sorrow. 
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Eventually, slowly, I begin to remember the whole gamut I have been blessed with and so I start, again, to work my way through it, all the way back to compassion right next to understanding.  And I comfortably lean on that key, until next time, when my heart feels homeless again.

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And so I begin the same journey yet again; I go around the same bend, only this time it doesn’t take as long, I don’t lean on anger and sorrow as hard, and before I know it I’m back at compassion and understanding reaching bravely toward forgiveness.  I begin to want to lean on that key and, tired, I rest there for a long while.

Then, suddenly, quietly, I realize I have found a home for my heart once I stepped over the threshold of forgiveness.  Finally and safely, my heart returned home to love.

It is the brave souls who dare to hit all the keys; it is the most courageous ones who gather all their notes and assemble them into a melody which then becomes their song.  And, once ready, they sing it for the world.
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Has your heart ever felt homeless?  Please share as I would love to know your story.

Blessings as always,

​Marta
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